updates & I promise not to mention Dan what's-his-face

Ah, is there anything more satisfying than blogging on your lunch break?

Maybe eating?

Writing fiction?
Reading?

Surfing the web?

Shit, just about everything sounds more satisfying than cranking out a blog post on my paltry fifty minutes of lunch before I punch out, pick up the toddler from Grandma's house and then streak home to read and nap before the wife makes it home. But I know if I don't do this now, it ain't gonna happen later. So I'm just sucking it up and counting the minutes until I can slip on my ear buds, crank some Johnny Cash and head out the front door of the job and out to my piece of shit Saturn.

As you can guess, I'm officially back from vacation. We had a great time and I'm already itching to go back to old SD for some more quality R&R. (Yeah, I've only been back two days and I'm already thinking about another trip, but isn't that the way?) I will say that I feel pretty rested and coming back to the job actually wasn't all that bad.

Okay, let's get down to the shits and giggles portion of my post where I shove a few new links up your nose.

First up, in case you didn't read it over at the Drowning Machine, my friend Michael Moreci had to drop out of the Watery Grave short story invitational, so Cory went back to his magic salad bowl and drew my name out of it.

So now I'm in and raring to throw down with the rest of my short story writing peers.

The major issue is that I already sent out the story I was going to submit to Cory, which means I had to start from ground zero with a new piece. I've been jamming it out over the past few days and I'm almost finished up with it. At this point I can't really say if I'm happy with it or not? (But then again, I'm never 100% on anything I've ever written.) All I'm really hoping for is that it doesn't suck.

If you haven't seen the finalists yet, check out the other 9 bad asses right HERE.

Link #2

New story time.

Check out my first collaborative story, Pictures of You, with Midwestern hard man, Chad Eagleton, over at Darkest Before the Dawn. It was a blast to work with Chad and we're writing on our second piece right now in between other projects and the whole day job thing.

Check out Pictures of You right HERE.

Link #3

Yup, week #3 of Short Thoughts on Short Fiction. Check it out right HERE.

And yes, if you haven't noticed, that guy who wrote that book six years ago that sold, like, a whole shit load of copies and was then made into a really crappy movie staring Tom Hanks finally released a sequel to the book he wrote six years ago.

Needless to say, folks are either flooding the Mcbookstores for their copy or folks (especially us writer or wanna be writer folks.) are burning it--both figuratively and literally--in the streets.

Here's my two cents and then I'll drop it.

Meh.

The book that's got my nips hard as titanium is about to hit in one week and you know the ten years he's made us wait are gonna be totally be worth it.

Yeah, you know what I'm talkin' 'bout:

Come get some!

Super quick post and poetry no one will publish

Yep, still on vacation, gang.

But it's turning into one of those vacations where I'm going to need a vacation to recover from it.

However, despite my sheer physical exhaustion, the old noodle still isn't ready to wind down, so I thought I'd share a quick link and a tiny piece of poesy I composed while hitting (or being hit) the surf yesterday.

First the link.

My second Short thoughts on Short fiction column hit today, so if you haven't already, check it out right HERE.

Okay, now onto the poetry. . .if you can call it that.

Quick warning, folks, I'm no poet.

Yeah, like every youngish writer, I spent my fair share of time mimicking poets like Bukowski and William Carlos Williams (and doing so while I was very, how should I put this. . .loaded would probably be the best word for it.)

But for better or worse, here it is:

If rain is the tears

Of God,

than the Ocean must be

His piss?

if it is, I became one with Him

today

when I swallowed

a stomachful of

His foamy

urine.

Yeah. . . . Time for bed.

My big fat nothing of a blog post AKA I'm on vacation

I'm staring at the computer screen, my fingers want to move, but the brain just isn't willing them into action. Saturday's are usually my hot night. I'll stay up until 1 or 2 o'clock in the morning pounding the machine, writing and revising, maybe watch a movie or two, read thirty or forty pages in between typing and watching whatever unoriginal piece of cinematic trash I've chosen as my Saturday night brain rot. But tonight I'm in San Diego, CA, a half a block away from the Pacific ocean. The air is cool and wet and I've been coated in a light sheen of sweat since we arrived here. I'm not use to the humidity yet and I doubt I will in the seven days that we're scheduled to be here. (I'm a desert guy, folks, I like my weather hot and dry.)

Not that I'm complaining.

Other than the obligatory visit to Seaworld and loose plans to hang with Jimmy Callaway, I've got shit to do except revising 75 or so pages of manuscript and parking my fat ass on the beach. But I guess that's why they call it vacation. You ain't suppose to do anything but rest and relax and be thankful you don't have to get up to an alarm for a few days.

But since it's Saturday night, I just can't help myself, even if I'm tired as all get out, I still have to hit the machine, even if it is to write about nothing other than being tired and not being able to stop myself from writing.

Anyway, here's a couple of pieces of news to pass along.

First up, much like myself, Jed Ayres is a complete fucking maniac for James Ellroy and it goes without saying that the brother is chomping at the bit to get his grubby, greasy fingers on a copy of the Dawg's newest opus, Blood's a Rover. But St. Louis' second favorite pervert is so excited that he's running a contest and giving away swag in celebration of BAR's release. Click HERE for all the details

Business at hand #2

In case you haven't been paying attention to Corey Wilde's updates regarding the Watery Grave short story invitational, things are starting to heat up just a wee bit as far as the competition is concerned, and not just because Patti Abbott and Sandra Seamans (which has already got me shaking in my literary boots a wee bit.) threw their hats into the ring, but because none other than Sophie Littlefield has decided she wants a shot at $25 bucks and bragging rights that she bitch slapped the shit out of 10 of the best writer's on the web.

So, yeah, I'm really starting to think I'm not going to make the initial cut for this thing? Oh well if I don't, because I know the ten writer's who do make it are going to put out some hard charging, balls to the wall crime fiction in order to grab the #1 spot. But if you're still interested in getting in on this thing, you've only got three more days to get the link to your published story into Corey, which you can do right HERE.

Alrighty, folks, that's it for me, I got to get busy staring at the walls and pretending that I'm actually going to accomplish something tonight.

A cool contest and everyone's a critic, even me

Alright, folks, I'm going to make this quick, because I'm writing this blog post on my lunch hour, and, honestly, I'd rather be working on stories rather than blogging. But, I do have a couple of links I want to pass along to you, so I'll make this quick, brutal, and to the point.

Okay, first off, in case you didn't know about it, Eric Beetner's first novel with collaborator JB Kohl

One Too Many Blows to the Head is about to hit and in celebration of the novels release, Eric and JB are running a contest where you have the chance to win a whole shitload of free signed books plus the chance at some publishing glory. So make sure to head on over to Eric's blog right HERE to find out all of the details. I'm 99% sure I'll be participating in the contest, so all of you motherfucker's be warned right here and now.

And now for my second link.

Okay, if you haven't seen it yet, I am now writing for BSCreview and I've taken over the Short thoughts on Short Fiction column from Brian Lindenmuth. So go ahead and take a look at my first column right HERE after the jump. . .