Bald Face Liar (Creative Writer) thingy

Since I don't do anything remotely writer like on Thursday nights, (Hey, everybody needs a night off, kids.) I thought I'd participate in this "Creative Writer" award meme John McFetridge tagged me with. So here's the ground rules:

• Tell up to six outrageous lies about yourself, and at least one outrageous truth – or – switch it around and tell six outrageous truths and one outrageous lie. (See below.)
• Nominate some more “Creative Writers” who might have fun coming up with outrageous lies of their own. (Check the end of this post.)
• Post links to the blogs you nominate.
• Leave a comment on each of the blogs letting them know that you have nominated them.

I'm going to go for the six outrageous truths and one lie thing.

Here we go.

1) I've only been arrested twice in my life. The first time was for swiping a candy bar because I was hungry. The second time was for the warrant issued for my arrest for stealing the candy bar.

2) I met my lovely wife while living at an "art" commune. (By commune, I mean, it was a bunch of hippies living in a ranch house out in the middle of the desert smoking a lot of "tobacco" and taking stuff that made us laugh for hours on end and see stuff that wasn't really there.) My wife was dating the drummer of the band which supported "the commune" when we met, and I stole her out from under him. Yeah, I felt like a total stud.

3) I've been punched in the face by a 6'5, 300 pound retarded pedophile. I was so pumped up with adrenaline, the punch neither hurt nor left a mark.

4) My favorite ice cream is mint chocolate chip.

5) When the wife and I met James Ellroy, the man would not stop flirting with my wife for the entire twenty minutes we stood talking with him. Seriously, he answered every question I threw his direction, but he just wouldn't stop fawning over her. We still get a big laugh out of it.

6) I've hiked the Grand Canyon twelve times. Both South-to-North rim and East-to-West. My fastest time was eight and half hours straight from the South Kaibab trail-to-the Bright Angel Trail. The hike was a total of 28 miles.

7) On a cross country road trip my wife and I went on when we first got together, we stopped at a campground in Iowa. It was the best campground we'd stayed at our entire trip--free showers, well maintained campsites and barbecue pits, plus one of the cleanest natural lakes I've ever seen--at least until the sun went down and the mosquito's came out. The next day we counted the number of bites on our bodies. I had 57 bites, the wife had well over 100. The bugs obviously thought she was much sweeter than I was.

Anyway, that's it, gang, except for me tagging people, so here are the folks I plan on slightly annoying tonight: Jed Ayres, Dennis Tafoya, Scott Phillips, Dan O'shea (BTW, folks, remember that Dan still has the new flash fiction challenge going right HERE.) Kent Gowran, J.F. Juzwik, Eric Beetner, and we'll throw in Kieran Shea because I'm trying to distract him from finishing up his first novel.

And one last thing before I head out tonight, next week old bloody knucks will be running it's first ever contest, so make sure to keep an eye out, because you know you like the free shit just as much as I do.